How to Stimulate the Clitoris (during sex)
Nature has indeed played a strange joke on us humans by designing a woman with her sexual "hot spot" outside the vagina. The location of the clit is nonessential to reproduction making it one of the only organs that has no other purpose than of pleasure. Perhaps there is a very good evolutionary reason for this obvious oversight, which we are not yet aware of. Nevertheless, most women are left with the reality of needing that extra clitoral stimulation during intercourse to be able to orgasm. By far the most common question we receive at Libida is how couples can put more focus on the clit during intercourse.
• The clitoris sits outside and above the vagina where the lips come
together. It is protected by a hood and is between ½" to 2" long -- with
an average of 3/4" in length and 1/4" in diameter.
• Luckily, this is just the part we can see! The complete clitoris is actually
approximately the size of a flaccid penis -- 4" in total. The part which you
don't see extends down into two long legs (crura) that reach well into the
inside of the body on either sides of the vulva.
• Because the clitoris is positioned inches outside of the vagina, it is almost
impossible for the penis to stimulate it directly during intercourse.
• The clitoris does, in fact, get some clitoral stimulation from the act of
intercourse. As the penis pulls out, it pulls the inner lips to the clitoris and
rubs against it (pleasurable in itself). For some women, this can be enough
to bring them to orgasm, but for over 60% of women it is not.
Positions that hit the spot best
Since every woman's anatomy and geography is slightly different, there is no
panacea-position for hitting the spot. But, here are the common ones:
• Look Ma, No Hands: The best positions for stimulating the clitoris without
using outside stimulation Scissors - Lie on your sides, face each other, put
his leg (and thigh) in between yours - his upper thigh can put great
pressure on the clitoris.
• Legs Closed - Close your legs as he enters you. Commonly from behind or
when you are on top of him. Closed legs increase the friction of the penis
against the vulva and clitoris.
• Missionary position - He lies on top of you - face to face. His pelvic bone
massages the clit when he has fully penetrated you.
• Woman on Top - You can grind away on top of him to your own rhythm and
It's a Handful
The best positions that allow hands free to roam to the right spot.
• Doggy Style - His hand can reach around easily to the clit, Your hands can
also reach easily down between your legs.
• Side by side - Lie facing the same direction as he spoons you, his hand can
easily reach around.
• Half Facing - You lie on your back while he lies on his side. Put one leg (or
both) over his body. You have easy access to your clit and he can caress
your breasts and more.
Vulva Massage - Slip the penis out and, supporting it with the hand, slide the
glans of the penis over the vulva and clitoris giving the clitoris a glorious penile massage.
What to do when you get tired? Lie on your stomach with a stiff pillow
positioned directly underneath your pelvis, and rub your clit over the pillow while he penetrates her from behind.
How to ask for more
• Plain and simple -- just ask.
• Take his hand and guide it to your clit. This is the least confrontational,
and is very successful if he is paying attention.
• Talk to him when you are not sexual with each other. Tell him you need
that extra stimulation. Give him some suggestions on which way you like it.
Talk creatively about how to get the stimulation you want. It can really
turn him on to hear you tell him what you want.
• Rub it yourself and hope he gets the hint.
• Watch a porn movie together that features clit stimulation and tell him how
much it would turn you on to have him do that to you.
• Scream : "Touch my clit right now!"
Tips for Men
Remember that when she is excited, the clitoris will retreat behind the hood, which can make it a little hard to find.
The clitoris can become overly sensitive and will then welcome "indirect" stimulation. In that case, massage in circles around the area, look for her reactions, and ask her what she'd like you to do.
Note that if you want to know what it feels like for a woman to have her vagina stimulated without stimulating the clitoris, try having an orgasm without touching your penis.
And Keep in Mind
Analogous sex organs between the sexes:
Vagina = Scrotum.
Clitoris = Head of penis
Lips = Shaft of penis
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