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Old 4 Weeks Ago
camforsweety camforsweety is offline
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Seeking physiological advice

Seeking physiological advice
Hi Friends!

Before going to any specialist I would like to discuss my problem here:

I have been married since 2008. Almost 10 yrs. I have a kid of 4.5 yrs. After kid my wife hardly agrees for sex.

I demand her once a week. Focus on word demands I means requests but she denies that it is totally uselse's
And flatuuu stuff. Also I never forced her. If she refuses go back but again she will become angry on me. And I somehow feels bad and guilty by asking me that am I doing something wrong. She even doesn't allows me to open het bra. If I tries to do that she throes tentrums that this is not the right time to do this. She is tired. I don't see the time and start any time without looking at time. She has to wake up early tomorrow morning to get ready for office and cooks good. I request ed her to do only for 5 mins. I only likes oral where as specifically fond of sucking wife's pussy... again but she hasn't allowed me to do that. Sorry to say I told her if u don't like all that then you should tell me upfront before marriage. Although, I am working in cooperate owing a 15 lakhs pet annum package, buy she told me in anger that I am good for nothing. Then she replied that my mom told her that his son is like girls .... in which typical wording is ....boy is very innocent.

Friends pls suggest me what shall I do. I trued everything. I gave her respect. In order to reduce her house hold tasks I have bought automatic washing machine and dish washer too. Even I m going to employ full time maid to support her in cooking food and other kitchen stuff. I usually gifts her alot. Last to last month, we went to Qatar for spending holidays and I bought and gifts good dresses, gold silver jewellery to her also. Then only she hasn't impressed much. One problem is she rejects me to touck het when we are out of home. This is not one time, this is everytime I noticed no matter how sweet I will become towards her. Even for her I quarrelled with my parents during early age of my marriage.

Now, I feel afraid and shy before discussing this in front of a physcatrist. Somehow I feel he will also suggest me I am wrong and my part that need to ve corrected in my mind. Cause I believe in a commin hearing that "If you love someone, let him or her free. If he or she will comes back, then he or she will be yours".

If i go and approach any legal lawet or loval district court. Then i am afraid of one thing. That courts will take decisions mostly in favor of women. Also i heard that having sex with wife without her permission is also a crime or a raping a wife.

Also, I hadn't even touched my wife after 1st baby for 4 yrs. I dont know how I controlled that! But I can't now a days. Also, in order to respect her I don't like to prefer to disturb her while she is in periods...

Now please suggest me if there is any other solutions to this problem or I sit quietly by accepting it as my destiny.

Right now I m posting this comments to lighten my heart and she is sleeping comfortably...

Other consequences I could think are if I approach any local court:

1. She and her parents might put falso dowry case against me. But with Gods grace I am not a greedy for anything like dowry. With Gods grace I have everything at my home and have a good job and too.

2. She could put false aligation to me in court like, I beat / abuse her for sex.

3. I have an extra martial affair thats why I trying to divorce her.

4. Or anything etc what she could thinks to take revenge from me...

Miserable Disheartened Poor Abused Hubby!!!
Cam For Sweety.

Last edited by camforsweety : 4 Weeks Ago at 03:58 AM.

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HI there

It seems that you've have a pretty good sexual appetite. I do too. It's quite healthy for married couples to have sex 2-3 times a week. At least that's what me and my wifey do. Alas it's not the same for you.

Now it seems to me that your wife married you because you have a pretty good pay package and would be able to take care of her. Let her know that being a good for nothing has gotten you a neat 15 L p.a package so if you become good for something then the sky would be the limit for you. Don't let her emasculate you like that (but never hit her). If she keeps rebuking you like this then it would be nothing short of mental torture as sexual relations are must for a married couple's happyness and continous denial of it leads to anger, frustration etc.

Find out the reason behind her aversion. There can mainly be 2 possibilities. Either she is genuinely going through some trouble mentally or physically or else she is getting it from someone else (affair).

Don't let her know that you suspect her yet. Keep calm and try to check how often she messages someone on her phone. Whether she is really going to office regularly on correct time or leaving at appropriate times. Check her whatsapp messages if you can.

Or if you trust her and know that she can't be having an affair with anyone then talk to her and ask her whats the deal? Both of you go to a therapist and talk out your inhibitions.

But if she's really having an affair then it would be wise to first get appropriate proof of your innocense (in case she files a counter claim of torture etc.) and try to find proof of her affair (phone records/chats etc.). Don't let her know that you suspect something is wrong.

But most important in all of this, Love your child. That poor little thing has done nothing wrong and would have to bear the brunt of all this when he/she grows up.

Really hope this is just a phase your wife is going through and all get resolve quickly.

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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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how was your sex life on qatar vacation, that would give us an idea, i also went through a similar phase..but then we went to vacation and had amazing sex

Last edited by hari for fun : 4 Weeks Ago at 10:35 AM.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by camforsweety View Post
Seeking physiological advice
Hi Friends!

Before going to any specialist I would like to discuss my problem here:

I have been married since 2008. Almost 10 yrs. I have a kid of 4.5 yrs. After kid my wife hardly agrees for sex.

I demand her once a week. Focus on word demands I means requests but she denies that it is totally uselse's
And flatuuu stuff. Also I never forced her. If she refuses go back but again she will become angry on me. And I somehow feels bad and guilty by asking me that am I doing something wrong. She even doesn't allows me to open het bra. If I tries to do that she throes tentrums that this is not the right time to do this. She is tired. I don't see the time and start any time without looking at time. She has to wake up early tomorrow morning to get ready for office and cooks good. I request ed her to do only for 5 mins. I only likes oral where as specifically fond of sucking wife's pussy... again but she hasn't allowed me to do that. Sorry to say I told her if u don't like all that then you should tell me upfront before marriage. Although, I am working in cooperate owing a 15 lakhs pet annum package, buy she told me in anger that I am good for nothing. Then she replied that my mom told her that his son is like girls .... in which typical wording is ....boy is very innocent.

Friends pls suggest me what shall I do. I trued everything. I gave her respect. In order to reduce her house hold tasks I have bought automatic washing machine and dish washer too. Even I m going to employ full time maid to support her in cooking food and other kitchen stuff. I usually gifts her alot. Last to last month, we went to Qatar for spending holidays and I bought and gifts good dresses, gold silver jewellery to her also. Then only she hasn't impressed much. One problem is she rejects me to touck het when we are out of home. This is not one time, this is everytime I noticed no matter how sweet I will become towards her. Even for her I quarrelled with my parents during early age of my marriage.

Now, I feel afraid and shy before discussing this in front of a physcatrist. Somehow I feel he will also suggest me I am wrong and my part that need to ve corrected in my mind. Cause I believe in a commin hearing that "If you love someone, let him or her free. If he or she will comes back, then he or she will be yours".

If i go and approach any legal lawet or loval district court. Then i am afraid of one thing. That courts will take decisions mostly in favor of women. Also i heard that having sex with wife without her permission is also a crime or a raping a wife.

Also, I hadn't even touched my wife after 1st baby for 4 yrs. I dont know how I controlled that! But I can't now a days. Also, in order to respect her I don't like to prefer to disturb her while she is in periods...

Now please suggest me if there is any other solutions to this problem or I sit quietly by accepting it as my destiny.

Right now I m posting this comments to lighten my heart and she is sleeping comfortably...

Other consequences I could think are if I approach any local court:

1. She and her parents might put falso dowry case against me. But with Gods grace I am not a greedy for anything like dowry. With Gods grace I have everything at my home and have a good job and too.

2. She could put false aligation to me in court like, I beat / abuse her for sex.

3. I have an extra martial affair thats why I trying to divorce her.

4. Or anything etc what she could thinks to take revenge from me...

Miserable Disheartened Poor Abused Hubby!!!
Cam For Sweety.
Is she aware of your extra marital affair? maybe that's why she is hating you!

She's casted you under her thumb! U are her puppet. She's using you like a pet dog.

Man needs sex. Denial of sex in marriage is also a liable clause for getting divorce - only to make u understand that denial for sex is also immoral.

Figure out why? Talk to her .. ask her straight forward "why?"
"Why have u been denied for sex for 4.5 years?"

Maybe ur wife is fucking outside and is having her holes filled to brim and she doesnt need ur dick!
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Old 4 Weeks Ago
wifyfantasy wifyfantasy is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by camforsweety View Post
Seeking physiological advice
Hi Friends!

Before going to any specialist I would like to discuss my problem here:

I have been married since 2008. Almost 10 yrs. I have a kid of 4.5 yrs. After kid my wife hardly agrees for sex.

I demand her once a week. Focus on word demands I means requests but she denies that it is totally uselse's
And flatuuu stuff. Also I never forced her. If she refuses go back but again she will become angry on me. And I somehow feels bad and guilty by asking me that am I doing something wrong. She even doesn't allows me to open het bra. If I tries to do that she throes tentrums that this is not the right time to do this. She is tired. I don't see the time and start any time without looking at time. She has to wake up early tomorrow morning to get ready for office and cooks good. I request ed her to do only for 5 mins. I only likes oral where as specifically fond of sucking wife's pussy... again but she hasn't allowed me to do that. Sorry to say I told her if u don't like all that then you should tell me upfront before marriage. Although, I am working in cooperate owing a 15 lakhs pet annum package, buy she told me in anger that I am good for nothing. Then she replied that my mom told her that his son is like girls .... in which typical wording is ....boy is very innocent.

Friends pls suggest me what shall I do. I trued everything. I gave her respect. In order to reduce her house hold tasks I have bought automatic washing machine and dish washer too. Even I m going to employ full time maid to support her in cooking food and other kitchen stuff. I usually gifts her alot. Last to last month, we went to Qatar for spending holidays and I bought and gifts good dresses, gold silver jewellery to her also. Then only she hasn't impressed much. One problem is she rejects me to touck het when we are out of home. This is not one time, this is everytime I noticed no matter how sweet I will become towards her. Even for her I quarrelled with my parents during early age of my marriage.

Now, I feel afraid and shy before discussing this in front of a physcatrist. Somehow I feel he will also suggest me I am wrong and my part that need to ve corrected in my mind. Cause I believe in a commin hearing that "If you love someone, let him or her free. If he or she will comes back, then he or she will be yours".

If i go and approach any legal lawet or loval district court. Then i am afraid of one thing. That courts will take decisions mostly in favor of women. Also i heard that having sex with wife without her permission is also a crime or a raping a wife.

Also, I hadn't even touched my wife after 1st baby for 4 yrs. I dont know how I controlled that! But I can't now a days. Also, in order to respect her I don't like to prefer to disturb her while she is in periods...

Now please suggest me if there is any other solutions to this problem or I sit quietly by accepting it as my destiny.

Right now I m posting this comments to lighten my heart and she is sleeping comfortably...

Other consequences I could think are if I approach any local court:

1. She and her parents might put falso dowry case against me. But with Gods grace I am not a greedy for anything like dowry. With Gods grace I have everything at my home and have a good job and too.

2. She could put false aligation to me in court like, I beat / abuse her for sex.

3. I have an extra martial affair thats why I trying to divorce her.

4. Or anything etc what she could thinks to take revenge from me...

Miserable Disheartened Poor Abused Hubby!!!
Cam For Sweety.
I will not repeat what other commentators say. Yes, best thing is to open discussion & probably both of u consult psychiatrsist.

But if that doesnt happen or give result, next best step is getting divorce. No one shud spoil life by meanigless adjustment. Denial of sex is good ground for divorce.

If u r afraid your wife will blackmail, thn take precaution. Record your talks with her secretly (can b done easily with mobile). Record when she denies sex or abuses u. Be clever & bring topic which u anticipate she may blkmail. For example, u can tell her "Like others I never asked for anything from your family including dowry. What is your problem?" or "For 4 years you have denied me sex. Without any reason. I never forced you. Why u do such things?". staff like tht. If she doesnt know u recording than she wont deny it. Such recordings will b valuable in court.
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Last edited by wifyfantasy : 4 Weeks Ago at 12:26 PM.

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Old 4 Weeks Ago
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see after reading your post i understand that you are full of guilt that's why this thing is happening there is something which you are hiding even from us from whom you are asking advice

my suggestion remove that guilt problem solved
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Quote:
Originally Posted by camforsweety View Post
Seeking physiological advice
Hi Friends!

Before going to any specialist I would like to discuss my problem here:

I have been married since 2008. Almost 10 yrs. I have a kid of 4.5 yrs. After kid my wife hardly agrees for sex.

I demand her once a week. Focus on word demands I means requests but she denies that it is totally uselse's
And flatuuu stuff. Also I never forced her. If she refuses go back but again she will become angry on me. And I somehow feels bad and guilty by asking me that am I doing something wrong. She even doesn't allows me to open het bra. If I tries to do that she throes tentrums that this is not the right time to do this. She is tired. I don't see the time and start any time without looking at time. She has to wake up early tomorrow morning to get ready for office and cooks good. I request ed her to do only for 5 mins. I only likes oral where as specifically fond of sucking wife's pussy... again but she hasn't allowed me to do that. Sorry to say I told her if u don't like all that then you should tell me upfront before marriage. Although, I am working in cooperate owing a 15 lakhs pet annum package, buy she told me in anger that I am good for nothing. Then she replied that my mom told her that his son is like girls .... in which typical wording is ....boy is very innocent.

Friends pls suggest me what shall I do. I trued everything. I gave her respect. In order to reduce her house hold tasks I have bought automatic washing machine and dish washer too. Even I m going to employ full time maid to support her in cooking food and other kitchen stuff. I usually gifts her alot. Last to last month, we went to Qatar for spending holidays and I bought and gifts good dresses, gold silver jewellery to her also. Then only she hasn't impressed much. One problem is she rejects me to touck het when we are out of home. This is not one time, this is everytime I noticed no matter how sweet I will become towards her. Even for her I quarrelled with my parents during early age of my marriage.

Now, I feel afraid and shy before discussing this in front of a physcatrist. Somehow I feel he will also suggest me I am wrong and my part that need to ve corrected in my mind. Cause I believe in a commin hearing that "If you love someone, let him or her free. If he or she will comes back, then he or she will be yours".

If i go and approach any legal lawet or loval district court. Then i am afraid of one thing. That courts will take decisions mostly in favor of women. Also i heard that having sex with wife without her permission is also a crime or a raping a wife.

Also, I hadn't even touched my wife after 1st baby for 4 yrs. I dont know how I controlled that! But I can't now a days. Also, in order to respect her I don't like to prefer to disturb her while she is in periods...

Now please suggest me if there is any other solutions to this problem or I sit quietly by accepting it as my destiny.

Right now I m posting this comments to lighten my heart and she is sleeping comfortably...

Other consequences I could think are if I approach any local court:

1. She and her parents might put falso dowry case against me. But with Gods grace I am not a greedy for anything like dowry. With Gods grace I have everything at my home and have a good job and too.

2. She could put false aligation to me in court like, I beat / abuse her for sex.

3. I have an extra martial affair thats why I trying to divorce her.

4. Or anything etc what she could thinks to take revenge from me...

Miserable Disheartened Poor Abused Hubby!!!
Cam For Sweety.

Dear friend,
I found ur problem extremely genuine and sensed honesty in ur question. I couldnít control myself joining this conversation.
I hope u wonít mind if I share my opinion as well.
Perhaps u will understand a womanís perspective as well.

First of all, u r not at fault.
It is medically abnormal for a lady not to have libido for such a long duration.
Prolactin can cause significant libido reduction after child birth in 80% females.
it usually sustains for few months .
But in few ladies it can persist for years.
The way u have described ur day to day scenario, may be she is going through some amount of anxiety/depression.
U should definitely meet a counsellor .
That will be the best gift from u to her.
She needs to come out of this overwhelming life style where she is mostly in bad terms with u.
Why donít u take her out for dinner and tell her that u want her, u need her.
And she can confide in u without worries .
Convince her to see a counsellor together.

Look friend,
If u r planning a legal step,
Donít forget, she is not just ur wife but mum of ur kid too.

Best wishes

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I'll only add that never never ever go to a lawyer for a matrimonial disagreement. They'd convert a 'disagreement' into a dispute and ultimately a dispute into a breakdown only to milk you. Throw that thought out of your mind even before it comes. Think of a Court when EVERYTHING ELSE has totally failed. A marriage counsellor psychiatrist should be your first step.

[I yam a lawyer, though not the gharelu jhagda type!]
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Last edited by tobermory : 2 Weeks Ago at 10:10 AM.

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Why u wanna make life of your baby tough for ur issues that r mainly on sex . Sort it out someways . I dont think I shd mention him much for sake of forum rules. Anyways live ur life as u like.
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Last edited by anay8 : 2 Weeks Ago at 05:03 PM.

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First think about ur child and his/her future. Dont screw the childs future.

Then do whatever u want to do.

Every decision u think of taking first think if it is good for ur child then take it.


My advice:
Most wives like only shopping and TV serials and vacations.
Give her pleasure of all three - she will be satisfied and ur kid will also be happy.

Continue ur extramarital affair and provide properly for her also but make it clear that u cannot leave ur wife for her.

Try showing ur wife short films Plumber ne bathroom mein ghusa diya/Electrician ne bhabhi ka fuse uda diya/Makaan maalkin ne kirayder ko etc. Maybe it will excite her.

4 years no fucking is too much
Not allowing to open bra is height.
Either she knows about ur affair and is keeping quiet because of the money and the child or she has lost her sexual desire. I dont think she is having an affair.

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