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  #11  
Old 14th February 2018
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First entry by janu2016 is underage story
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  #12  
Old 14th February 2018
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Entry no. 2
By sexygirls007
Another entry which will be disqualified for sex scene.
Why dont people read rules before posting ?

And even if you read that entry, whats that Mr. Writer ?
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  #13  
Old 15th February 2018
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Entry No. 3 which is now entry no.1 by Tram,
I was excited to read his story when I saw his profile having nib award.
But i was shocked to see that he just mocked this contest ?
Really disappointing tram. Really.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trambak View Post
She carefully contemplates suicide by jumping from her second-floor balcony. Then she decides against it. The reason is simple.

Is the colour of her fresh Kajal not dark enough?

Not this time.

Then what?

Hey “R” where are you going?

Tram unkil! This is the most third class story I have ever heard.
writer himself calling his entry the most third class story.

I wonder how did you get USC award.
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Last edited by banned : 15th February 2018 at 08:49 AM.

  #14  
Old 15th February 2018
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The Curious Case of Rajkumari Avantika


Just finished it and im confused on which genre it is english. Hinglish or.. Anyways, although it is just a story but its my job to express my thoughts about it, avantikas character is little messy type i respect the search of right thing but love is not just a like chutki bajao aut ho gaya. Most of time i feel writer speaking or telling himself, he tried to crack some punches but i dont like them maybe in my perception.

Plot was simple, language has a nice flow and good to read. After a while story looks nice and those haryanvi touch in dialogues, as im from haryana they made a smile.
Ps: in last vo jo bus kuch palo me love aata hai i liked that scene
Best wishes from me
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  #15  
Old 15th February 2018
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Review - Raat baki ha
God knows its बाकी or बकी

A perfect example of brain killer. He was suggested to write in devnagari but he didnt listen and decided to kill our brain with his alien language.

As we should not criticize someone for spelling mistakes i would like to help the judges here with the words i was able to decrypt so that he get fair chance for marking.

Ma= main
Gupata = Gupt
Cheeza = cheejein
Una = un
Dakhta dakhta = dekhte dekhte
Hamash = hamesha
Hera = har
Ruba = rab

I will add more as soon as i decrypt them
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  #16  
Old 15th February 2018
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Quote:
Review - Raat baki ha
As a reader im still confused why read this and i dont know what is actually this. Might be writer discover a new language but im a normal people and i didnt understand even a single word from that

As a new writer, i understand and think that people can learn from mistakes but this is purr chutiyapa.
Im not doing criticism but kuch to samjh aaye
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  #17  
Old 15th February 2018
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My Comments about:

The Curious Case of Rajkumari Avantika
by
Trambak


I will read all english stories and try to give my comments for some of them.

1st of all, Trambak dear, I am telling you this, but it is basically addressed to all writers.
In this VSC, you will receive many reviews, some of them will be constructive, some of them will be negative and few of them has nothing to do with you or your story, just to steer up controversy and groupism. I am quite confidant about you and request all others to be like a swan, drink only the milk and ignore the water.

Now coming to your story. A light hearted story, casual read all the way. Depicts the spirit of teenage love and the cuteness involved with it.

You tried to introduce interactive style in the story, it is first of its kind and great job indeed. I am really happy to notice great creators are trying something different in their stories.But in the middle, when the action was in a bit fast pace, the same hilarious interaction was missing.

At the very last, you brought it again, and finished it in the style.

To summarize, A good comedy, executed in style. The writer showed his perception and versatility in style. Nice read for it's freshness and interactive style.

The flow was bit intercepted in between due to sudden change of pace and style.

Overall a good read and wish you best for the contest.
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  #18  
Old 15th February 2018
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My maid make me complete man
by

dahiya242

Is a collection of rules violation. UA materiel and explicit sex scene description in a single story.
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  #19  
Old 15th February 2018
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Review - Raat baki ha

I tried very hard to understand what the writer wanted to convey to the readers from this story. But all my efforts went in vain.
But still I want to encourage this new writer by commenting..
wah kya story mana kabhi nahi padi asi kahan.....

  #20  
Old 15th February 2018
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Raat baki ha

Saba sa pahla to ma ya batana chata ha ka jab mana kahani pada ta maja laga ke sacha ma uska 50 baccha ha, par jab aaga padha ta pata chala ka majra ka ha..

Kahani aaga badhata hua pari ka bara ma jaana chata ha. Akhir hua kya ja hospital sa phona aya... Kucha ta hua hoga na ki asa ha mar gaya...

Aura ta aura ishu kasa mari bahi... Kucha sawala ka jawab na mila ha.. maja lagta hai khani ka dusra parta aayega...

Writer na bahat mehnat ka hai is ke pacha... Jo bakar na gaya..

Kahani kafa dilchasp ha...
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