Xossip

Go Back Xossip > BackOffice> Parking Lot> Completed Contests > ★☆★ Xossip's Valentine Story Contest 2018 - Reviews & Comments Thread ★☆★

  Free Video Chat with Indian Girls
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #21  
Old 15th February 2018
banned's Avatar
banned banned is offline
Scene kya hai ?
Visit my website
 
Join Date: 26th July 2007
Location: Underground
Posts: 30,937
Rep Power: 55 Points: 5467
banned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autograph
दिल का आलम मैं क्या बताऊ तुझे

Ek fauji ka apni faujan ko bheja gaya letter
I dont know if it will be considered as a story but it was good and romantic too.
I was expecting a story but anyways something like this should be there to glitter the love story contest.

Wish you all the best.
______________________________
Hagguram Mootan Gaye, Mootan Aayo Paad
Mootat Mootat Hag Diya, Ek Panth Do Kaaj

Last edited by banned : 15th February 2018 at 09:06 PM.

  #22  
Old 15th February 2018
banned's Avatar
banned banned is offline
Scene kya hai ?
Visit my website
 
Join Date: 26th July 2007
Location: Underground
Posts: 30,937
Rep Power: 55 Points: 5467
banned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autographbanned has celebrities hunting for his/her autograph
आज रहब येही आँगन

Writer bhai, ye kya tha ?
Kyun tha ?
Kaise tha ?

Kuchh bhi likh daala ?

"Kutiya chod lunga" wah re wah
Pandit mantra padh raha tha - wah re wah pandit ji hi likh leta bhai

Aur sabse kamaal ki baat
Kahani ki heroine ka naam aadhi story me gayatri tha aur baaki half mein savitri ban gayi


Gajab kaand likha hai bhai.

Bihar mein kidnapping karke jabardasti byah karane wale case ko uthaya aur uski badhiya wali lanka laga di.



Topic was good, looked realistic, but you cant call it a love story.

I will give u 5 out of 10.

Keep writing
______________________________
Hagguram Mootan Gaye, Mootan Aayo Paad
Mootat Mootat Hag Diya, Ek Panth Do Kaaj

  #23  
Old 15th February 2018
vijay2309's Avatar
vijay2309 vijay2309 is offline
World is very nice..but im not
 
Join Date: 1st December 2016
Posts: 24,066
Rep Power: 36 Points: 15499
vijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universevijay2309 is one with the universe
Bloody Valentin..by bad joker


Gande jokar bhai ek accha writer ek chhote se tinke par bhi kahani likh sakta hai or aapne to ek aise subject par kahani likh daali jisne naa jaane kitne masoomo ko bali chadha diya...

Kahani ka patr jo ek developer hai shuru mai aisa laga jaise wahi is kahani ka hero banega....lekin us haivaan darinde ke dimaag mai durbhavna or jalan ne aisi jagah bana li ki pura sansaar he use apna dushman nazar aane laga....aapki writing skill ke baare mai kuch bhi kahne ki okaat nahi hai meri or na he kisi tarah ki koi galti nikalne ki himmat....ye kahani jaha akele rahne ka dard dikhati hai wahi ye kahani insaan ki shaitani fitrat bhi dikhati hai jo lalach or badle ki bhawna mai bah kar sab kuch tabaah karta chala jaata hai....


Gande jokar bhai aaj kaafi mahino baad koi acchi story padhi jo dimag ke taar kisi jhunjhune ki tarah hila gayi or jab aapne is kahani ko blue whale game se joda to aankho mai kab aansu bhar aaye pata he nahi chala thanx gande jokar bhai ye asal mai ek true story hai.

Best of luck for contest

  #24  
Old 15th February 2018
Trambak's Avatar
Trambak Trambak is offline
  Storyteller: XP's Ultimate Erotic Story Contest      
Join Date: 13th June 2017
Posts: 706
Rep Power: 23 Points: 21285
Trambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universe
Quote:
Originally Posted by banned View Post
Entry No. 3 which is now entry no.1 by Tram,
I was excited to read his story when I saw his profile having nib award.
But i was shocked to see that he just mocked this contest ?
Really disappointing tram. Really.



writer himself calling his entry the most third class story.

I wonder how did you get USC award.

Dear banned.

Thanks for your review. I agree with most of your observations.

1. writer himself calling his entry the most third class story.

I will always say that my entries are not up to the mark. I have a long way to go. The day I feel that I have achieved perfection, I will stop improving. There is no end point to do better.

2. I wonder how did you get USC award.

Exactly my point. I don't know. Someone has made a mistake. Honest.

3. i was shocked to see that he just mocked this contest ?

I humbly submit that I have never tried to demean a contest because that is a sacrilege. I, in my limited capacity, try to introduce some novelties and styles. It may not work out is my incompetence but I intentionally do not try to make fun of anything or anyone except myself. I work hard at making the entry as error-free as possible.

4. You are disappointed. I am more disappointed that you are disappointed.

Will try better next time.

Love

Trambak

  #25  
Old 15th February 2018
kim jong's Avatar
kim jong kim jong is offline
Custom title
 
Join Date: 15th August 2017
Posts: 9,063
Rep Power: 32 Points: 25925
kim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps database
Raat baki hai
bahut hi unda kahani hai jitni bhi tarif ki jaye wo kam hai aapne bahut mehnat se likha hai tabhi kahani itni mast hai bhai mai aspko is kahani par 10 me 10 points deta hun

  #26  
Old 15th February 2018
Chanakya20's Avatar
Chanakya20 Chanakya20 is offline
@Kautilya
  Contest Organizer: Active organizing member of an ongoing contest    Councillor: Council Member    Silver Coins: Contributed $25-$100 for XP server fund      
Join Date: 20th April 2017
Location: Takshashila
Posts: 41,023
Rep Power: 39 Points: 6661
Chanakya20 has celebrities hunting for his/her autographChanakya20 has celebrities hunting for his/her autographChanakya20 has celebrities hunting for his/her autographChanakya20 has celebrities hunting for his/her autographChanakya20 has celebrities hunting for his/her autographChanakya20 has celebrities hunting for his/her autograph
दिल का आलम मैं क्या बताऊ तुझे

Bhot his zabardast shabdo ka prayog kiya gaha hai khat me. Ise story to nahi keh sakte... But sometime, sometings are just more than stories.

Emotions ko shabdo ke roop me behtareen tarike se dikhaya gaya hai...

I wish you best of luck for future.
______________________________
Blood Makes You Related, Loyalty Makes You Family

  #27  
Old 15th February 2018
Trambak's Avatar
Trambak Trambak is offline
  Storyteller: XP's Ultimate Erotic Story Contest      
Join Date: 13th June 2017
Posts: 706
Rep Power: 23 Points: 21285
Trambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universe
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankanstienTheKount View Post
The Curious Case of Rajkumari Avantika


Just finished it and im confused on which genre it is english. Hinglish or.. Anyways, although it is just a story but its my job to express my thoughts about it, avantikas character is little messy type i respect the search of right thing but love is not just a like chutki bajao aut ho gaya. Most of time i feel writer speaking or telling himself, he tried to crack some punches but i dont like them maybe in my perception.

Plot was simple, language has a nice flow and good to read. After a while story looks nice and those haryanvi touch in dialogues, as im from haryana they made a smile.
Ps: in last vo jo bus kuch palo me love aata hai i liked that scene
Best wishes from me

Thanks a lot Frank

really grateful.

Trambak

  #28  
Old 15th February 2018
Trambak's Avatar
Trambak Trambak is offline
  Storyteller: XP's Ultimate Erotic Story Contest      
Join Date: 13th June 2017
Posts: 706
Rep Power: 23 Points: 21285
Trambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universeTrambak is one with the universe
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad_Joker View Post
My Comments about:

The Curious Case of Rajkumari Avantika
by
Trambak


I will read all english stories and try to give my comments for some of them.

1st of all, Trambak dear, I am telling you this, but it is basically addressed to all writers.
In this VSC, you will receive many reviews, some of them will be constructive, some of them will be negative and few of them has nothing to do with you or your story, just to steer up controversy and groupism. I am quite confidant about you and request all others to be like a swan, drink only the milk and ignore the water.

Now coming to your story. A light hearted story, casual read all the way. Depicts the spirit of teenage love and the cuteness involved with it.

You tried to introduce interactive style in the story, it is first of its kind and great job indeed. I am really happy to notice great creators are trying something different in their stories.But in the middle, when the action was in a bit fast pace, the same hilarious interaction was missing.

At the very last, you brought it again, and finished it in the style.

To summarize, A good comedy, executed in style. The writer showed his perception and versatility in style. Nice read for it's freshness and interactive style.

The flow was bit intercepted in between due to sudden change of pace and style.

Overall a good read and wish you best for the contest.

Dear

Your comments were neither bad nor joker like. very mature and interesting.

Let me confess. Honestly, I found that no one has put in an entry and I thought of putting something just to initiate the proceedings.

This story is a caricature and is just a very very short feel-good type narration.

I hope everyone understands your suggestions.

Will read your entry in peace.

Love.

Trambak

  #29  
Old 15th February 2018
kim jong's Avatar
kim jong kim jong is offline
Custom title
 
Join Date: 15th August 2017
Posts: 9,063
Rep Power: 32 Points: 25925
kim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps databasekim jong has hacked the reps database
दिल का आलम मैं क्या बताऊ तुझे

Bahut hi zabardast shabdon ka prayog kiya gaya hai khat me.kulmila kar achchi kahani hai

bhavnaon ko shabdo ke roop me behtareen tarike se dikhaya gaya hai...

I wish you best of luck for future.

  #30  
Old 15th February 2018
pradip dalai's Avatar
pradip dalai pradip dalai is offline
Busy!
Visit my website
 
Join Date: 22nd September 2017
Location: In Your Smile :)
Posts: 5,729
Rep Power: 15 Points: 9437
pradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autographpradip dalai has celebrities hunting for his/her autograph
Review for the story Rat Baki Hai..


Jaisa Ki story ka title ko story ke end me bataya Gaya hai par iska prabhawi arth jitna mahatwo rakhta hai ye story me main ne nahin dekh paya...

Han ek naye writer ke hisab se apne story me apni bhabnaon ko esa pratiphalit karna tarif yogya hai....

Pahele story me kisiki lifestyle ya past memories ko describe kiya hai....hann story me thoda dhukad muhurta story ko ek alag prichaya deta hai parantu agar ham ise logically dekhen to bohot sare galati pratit ho rahi hai...yanha writer ko criticize karne ki koi irada nahin hai..
Par han yanha pe pyar ko ek naye andaz se barnan kiya gaya hai....
______________________________
Busy schedule busy life boring days..

  Free Video Chat with Indian Girls


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 10:52 PM.
Page generated in 0.02170 seconds